4 Comments

I am so grateful that I met you, Jonathan. Your "mom scarecrow" is so familiar to me. And the words of the song, so powerful. I want her to ask me to forgive her, but I don't think she will ever accept, in this lifetime, that she has been hurtful. I also see myself in her, especially in my alcohol consumption as a way to escape and cope with the deep sadness.

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Thank you so much, Ashley. I was glad to share that time with you. Wishing you deep peace and forgiveness as you begin this next cycle of your life — giving yourself permission to pursue that which truly feels most alive for you.

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I appreciate this discussion of fear. I've been researching CPTSD ('abandonment depression') which has been very illuminating on the fear of abandonment. Fear of entrapment is new to me. I can see this explaining the hostility response - people fear becoming entrapped so they lash out in order to create distance and space. I suppose we can try to fix the pain of fear with substances, accomplishments, scientific and knowledge and even art. But in my experience the most healing solution of all is simply the form of relationship - creating and sustaining a relationship that is warm, reciprocal and reliable. Living in this relationship becomes the antidote itself.

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Hi Hanna, thanks so much for sharing about your experience. Yes, a healthy, loving, and stable relationship seems to be one of the best ways of creating new patterns of trust.

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